I went to WhiteTrashVille and all I got was this stupid (but clean) Tshirt

My dryer is broken. I'm hesitant to buy a new one since we are planning on moving and I would hate to buy a new electric dryer, only to find out that our new house requires gas. Plus, I want this this one and I'm hoping that when we move and money is flying out all over the place, Rob will let me get it.



Let's just pause for a moment and gaze at it's beauty.

OK, back to the story.

I haven't done laundry in a long time because of the broken dryer. The kids started complaining about having no clean underwear...blah, blah, blah. I reminded them that needed to be grateful they had underwear at all. I mean some children have to make their own underwear out of tree bark and papyrus grass. But, since I do live by the rule that one must always wear clean underwear in case of an accident, I went to that mecca of white-trashedness....the laundromat.

I have to admit I was a little nervous. But, with my laundry, soap, Starbucks Venti-Half-Caf Skinny Vanilla Latte, Vera Bradley baby bag, and baby in hand, I went. And....I was surprised. It was clean. It smelled nice. I was doing 8 loads of laundry at once. I even started thinking that maybe I would not get a new dryer. That instead this would be the way I would do laundry from now on. BUt then...other people showed up. And. One of them decided to talk to me.

He is showing me this PSP that he has and is telling me about how he can download movies and games and how the quality is so good. See, he says and turns the screen around to show me...black porn. That's what he calls it anyways. He tells me he's into black porn. Wow...um, that is great picture quality. Wow. Then he tells me that the PSP isn't hot or anything. He gets it from rich kids, probably from like my neighborhood who want something from him and maybe they don't have cash, but mommy and daddy give them nice toys and they want stuff from him, so he's fair, he trades. He also got this nice ring that he shows me and asks me how much I think it is worth. I don't know sir. Then he shows me Grand Theft Auto on his PSP again. Again, wonderful picture quality. I'm very impressed.

Thankfully, my dryer starts beeping that it's done. The clothes are still damp, but I don't care. It's time to go. Good Luck with everything sir, I tell him as I leave because really I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I didn't have to travel far to see that insanity. And, now I don't know what I will do in like 2 days when I have 8 more loads of laundry to do.

Spare the Rod, Spoil my Day

Here in Kiddyland, we tend to be non-spankers. By we tend to be, I mean I do not and Rob probably still would if the situation warranted. This wasn't always teh way it was. I used to spank. But, then for a host of reasons, I decided that wasn't a parenting technique I wanted to use. For starters my children are older and it just didn't seem to make sense anymore. Also, it is truly not my children's currency. I could probably spank them all day or until my hand fell off and it wouldn't have much of an effect. I didn't like the way it made me feel, either. I hated telling my children don't hit all the while I was hitting them, and I don't care what parents say about how you make your child go into their room and then you go in and spank calmly, if spanking is part of your repertoire, then I am sure a spanking in anger has happened at least once. It has here. I didn't like it. I stopped spanking altogether.

The thing is though that spanking is so easy. It didn't require any thought on my part. My kid is bad. He/she gets spanked. My kid is really bad. He/she gets spanked multiple times. And so on. Now, when a kid misbehaves, I have to be creative and think of something really good. Something that is really going to get them and drive the point home. And, well, that spoils my day.

All this being hypothetical, of course. You all know my children are perfect angels.

Primary Day

So, it's the Pennsylvania Prmiary day. I voted. I'm not really sure why. I was the 12th Republican to vote at my polling place today. :)

In Pennsylvania you have to be a registered member of the party whose election you would like to vote in. I contemplated changing my party affiliation just to vote in the democratic primary. But, I didn't for two reasons:

1) I just really couldn't stand the thought of getting all of those annoying phone calls from democrats urging me to vote for so and so. I don't want to be on anyone's list that would in any way suggest that it's a good idea for a democrat to call me. Now listen, I have many good, smart friends who are democrats and I am glad that they call me. Please keep calling me. I just can't handle the "Hello, Mrs. Lady-of-the-house, if you hate George Bush as much as I do (insert various and sundry comments here linking him to everything from high gas prices to 416 abused children in a Texas compound ), then you'll vote for so-and-so. No thanks.

2) I don't care who wins. I guess prevailing thought is that we want to go up against HRC. I don't know. She scares me a bit. She seems to be able to pull wins out of her butt, or somewhere else, just when it looks like she's going to die. I also think that Obama has some skeletons that can easily be exposed. Either way, this loooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg democratic primary season has been good for us. It's still a long way to November though.

Oh, and when I voted, I wrote myself in for something. Just for fun. Wouldn't that be hysterical if I won. I hope I do, since I've been looking for a way to fill that 5 minutes of free time I have everyday.

Act Naturally

So, I allow my children to each have a "mental health" day. Otherwise known as "playing hookey". Today was Ryan's day. He picked a good one, being that it's 70 degrees and sunny outside. However, since my children eat me out of house and home and seeing that Hayleigh was wearing the last diaper in the house, we had to go to WalMart. While we are there, we see a police officer, walking toward us. Ryan must have been a little nervous, because he whispered to me, "It's the cops. Act natural." He then begins to sort of whistle and look around. All the while we are walking toward the police man and he is walking toward us. As we pass each other, Ryan stops his whistling and his casually looking around to say, "Hello, Officer" in his cheesy voice. (Think 70s pick-up line cheesy) This, apparently, is acting natural.

House Selling 101

Certainly by now you must have been asking yourselves "What is going on in Kiddyland? Why have there been no new posts in Kiddyland?" I know. I apologize. You see, here in Kiddyland, we have been trying to unload this hunk of junk that we like to call a house. Many of you who have been visitors in Kiddyland for some time now will recall that I often refer to my house as "the crappit", "the hell hole" or my personal favorite, "the stinky place". My realtor, of course, tries to put as positive of a spin as she can on it. What can I say? I have five kids. We live here. I am, however, getting sick of people coming through and saying they hate it.

Maybe I am going about this the wrong way. I've been doing everything all of those shows tell you to do to sell your house: clean, put away clutter, etc. Maybe this is just the type of house that is the exception to the rules. I mean, you can't fully appreciate the beauty of my house until you've tried to manuever through the family room without piercing your foot on a Pokemon toy. You can't fully experience the ambience without there being something smelly like a diaper or shoes or socks laying around. You can't fully understand the amenities the house has to offer until you've walked into the bathroom and realized that one of the boys has left the seat down to pee, again. (BTW, how DOES pee get all over the walls...lets focus on one thing at a time, boys. One thing at a time.)

I'm sure the right buyer is out there. Somewhere. BTW, if any of the above sounds appealing to you...let me know. I'm sure we can work out a great deal!!

Mom, I need to tell you something!

I know those words seem innocent enough. But, when they come out of Ryan's mouth and they are coming out right after school, it's usually not a good thing. Yesterday's was particularly enjoyable:

"Mom, I need to tell you something."
"Yes, Ryan."
"Well, I kind of got in trouble today."
"Oh yeah. What happened?"
"I don't know. I was just smiling and I lost 15 minutes of recess."

Poor kid. He was just smiling. And he lost 15 minutes of recess. He must think I was born yesterday.

Pasta!

So, I recently downloaded a few of my favorite 70s songs to my IPOD and I have been listening to them alot lately, since, you know, I clean my house alot lately, with it being up for sale and all. One of them is a Donna Summer classic, Hot Stuff. One of my children says to me: "Boy, this lady singing sure is hungry." "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well, she really wants some pasta." The kid thought she was saying "pasta" instead of "hot stuff" :)

Lookin for some pasta baby this evening.
I want some pasta baby tonight.
Gonna get some pasta baby this evening.
something something
I need pasta. I need pasta.

Come to think of it, I relate much better to that version.

Prejudice

There's been a lot of talk lately in the news about prejudice and whether or not certain candidates can win the presidency. I don't know, I could be wrong, but I don't think either democratic candidate can win. Because, sadly, despite our happy faces and our holding hands, too many of us carry too many prejudices.

Jaden played on a mainstream basketball team this year. It was a church league. The teams played on 1/3 of a basketball court, so it wasn't like "real" basketball. BUt, Jaden had such a wonderful time. Jonathan was his wheelchair handler and it was so special to see them work together to achieve something for Jaden. But, then, it came to my attention that one of the dads on his team anonymously wrote in that he was upset that his kid had to play with the handicapped kid. Something about the whole season being ruined for their team and his son because of the handicapped kid. Talk about prejudice! For two days, I was so livid it was all I could think of. Of course, since this "man" sent his comments anonymously, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

I learned a couple of things, though:
1) We still, as a people, have a lot pf prejudices and a lot of mixed up priorities. When a person would rather exclude someone than have their son maybe lose a few non-basketball games, I think that's a problem.
2) I was watching a documentary on the Little Rock 9-those children who were the first black students to go to an all white school after the Brown v. the Board of Education ruling. It never dawned on me before that those kids were kids and that they had moms whose hearts were probably torn in two hearing the things ignorant people said about their children.
3) God is no stranger to feeling the sting of people dismissing a child for something they cannot help. In church around Easter, we read the words about Jesus from Isaiah 53. Things like "men turned their face from him. We rejected him and esteemed him not, he was considered afflicted by God." Yes, God does know how I feel when people do not see the beauty in my son.

Jaden was telling me a story of something that happened it church. They were putting on a little skit and Jaden was chosen to play Jesus. Some kid yelled out, "He can't play Jesus, he's in a wheelchair!". I asked Jaden how that made him feel. He said, "I just felt bad for him. He doesn't know that kids in wheelchairs can do anything.". I'm glad Jaden, somehow, has picked up a good attitude. I pray he keeps it. I think he's going to have a lot of educating to do in his life.

Half-Way Point

Today marks about 6.5 years of wedded bliss for Rob and I. We've been married 15 years today, just 6.5 were blissful. When we got married, we decided that it would be for 30 years or death whichever would come first. So, we are halfway to the end of our commitment. Thing is, I'm thinking about renegotiating. 30 years doesn't seem quite long enough. Maybe I'll contact Ben Roethlisberger's agent. He seems to do a good job with negotiations.

The Caboose

I heard this term on a mothering board I am on. It refers to the last child, but specifically, the last child that comes maybe unexpectedly, maybe not, but certainly a number of years after having a clump of children. I have a caboose (no comments here about my backside necessary!) and I love having her. By the time the caboose comes a long, a mom has learned a thing or two, a mom has calmed down a notch or two.

I remember when the triplets were two I thought to myself, "If I knew they wwere going to actually stick dirt in their mouths when they were two, I wouldn't have spent so much time boiling nipples when they were babies." I know this now. I know that they aren't always going to want to snuggle with me. In fact, there will be a time when they won't even fit in my lap. I know that I can't control every little aspect of their life. Oh, it seems so easy when they are babies. I can control what she eats, when she sleeps, where she sleeps. But, that period of total control is long gone from the lives of my other children now. They will one day sleep through the night, they will one day use the bathroom on their own and get their own food. I will one day be able to go to the store without packing a million and one things in a diaper bag. In fact, I'll be able to go to the store without them at all. And, I know most of all, that when those things are gone, I am going to miss them terribly.

And, so with my caboose, I relax and enjoy. I enjoy every snuggle, I let her sleep in bed with me or worse yet, right in my arms. I let her enjoy lots of foods just for the thrill of seeing her experience them. Because I know that food battles are bound to come and I know that my children have still managed to grow OK. I enjoy temper tantrums because I know that there are many more confusing character qualities yet for her to develop. I even enjoy every bump and bruise she gets, because these physical wounds are so much easier to deal with than the emotional ones that I know are in her future.

I am thankful for my engine kids...the ones who are first in line and keep things moving and pave the way. Together we experience the new challenges and joys of life. I am thankful for the middle car, too. There's always a lot of activity going on in the middle cars...laughter, comraderie, and that drive not to be forgotten or overlooked by the others. (as if we could!). But, that caboose...I think everyone should have one. BTW, mine is 8 months old!!

Dating...Jonathan Style

I overheard an interesting conversation in the back of the car while driving. I find it's best not to interrupt these things, but instead to listen in and see what I can learn. Jonathan is telling Trisha about what it will be like when they start dating next year at the Intermediate School. (Let's just for the moment overlook the silliness of the premise.)

Jonathan tells Trisha that if he is lucky, he'll probably only have one, maybe two girlfriends next year. Because, he says, girls are so hard to get. He says, "I mean really all a girl has to do is bat her eyelashes and say 'I want a boyfriend' as she gets one. Not us boys. Girls are so hard to get." I wonder if Jonathan knows how wise about the ways of women he really is.

These are not mine...

But they are too, too funny. I first saw them on www.noelheikkinen.com and then he referenced some other place, that referenced some other place and so on and so on.
Forget, Foerber, Sears, Spock, etc.

Are they all yours?

If only I had a dime for every time I've been asked that question. People see me with 5 kids in tow and they just can't help themselves. They have to ask.

It always strikes me as curious. I mean, would I really take all of these children to WalMart if I had any other choice available to me? Do you think I drive around the neighborhood and pick up kids just so I can take them all to the doctor's office? Yes, they are all mine. And, I like them all. Every last one of them.

I guess I forget that we are a big family. Most of the time. We took the kids for a quick overnight to a hotel with an indoor pool. My five kids made 9 total kids in the pool. There were three other families there. Our one family had more kids than the three other families there combined. I guess we are quite a spectacle. But, I wouldn't trade any of them for the world!

On The Market

So, our house is officially on the market. It was no small task to get it ready. It was 7-8 days of doing nothing else other than painting and cleaning. Which I guess is one day for each year we have lived here. Some things hadn't been touched since we first moved in. Like the brother's room. What is it that makes a small boy want to write on the walls with, well, anything? What is it that makes them also want to wipe boogers on the walls? Good times. Good times. We do have the perfect house to move into. It just has to fall into place perfectly. I hope that it not only falls into place perfectly, it also falls into place quickly!!

30 Day Challenge

I almost hate to put up another post, just because that picture of Hayleigh is so darn cute! Anyways...

So, I was reading this news story the other day about a pastor in Florida who is challenging all of his married congregants to have sex every day for the last 30 days. He was quick to say that this challenge does not apply to single people, although I suspect that they would have a much easier time meeting this challenge than the married folk.

Now, I've taken my fair share of 30 day challenges. Heck, once I even didn't eat for 30 days, only drank juiced fruits and veggies. But this? C'mon. Really?!?! Seriously?!?!?! It will probably come as no surprise that this pastor is a man...no woman would ever think up such a thing. I think I am going to pray for the nursery staff. I suspect that in 9 months, there going to be a little busy.

7 months old

Headlines at 7 months:
- Two little toothers that are just too cute.
- She's crawling all over the place from room to room.
- She stickes everything in her mouth. If she makes it through this phase without choking on something, it truly will be a miracle.
- She's resolved her eating disorder and eats lots of fun things now.
- She's just a super-fun baby.

Here's a video of her cuteness, including her funny, if not slightly creepy, laugh. Oh, please ignore the messy room and the fact that I still have a small Christmas tree up...whatever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVHxiQ_3PaE

Missing Items

Following is a list of items currently missing from our home. If found, please return them to Kiddyland as soon as possible. Thank you.

My cell phone
My bank card
My camera
Trisha's left clog
Trisha's socks that save "Love" on them.
Jaden's right tennis shoe
Jonathan's shin guards
2 envelopes to send in for class picture day
1 elementary school directory for 2007-2008. (Although in searching for that one, I finally found the one from 2006-2007 that had previously been missing!)
Ryan's half-eaten pack of Strawberry Bubble Yum
High School Musical 2 Soundtrack (although I have a sinking suspicion that a certain adult male in the family might have been in on that one.)
My sanity

One of my children suggested that maybe someone has been breaking into our house at night and stealing stuff. I wasn't so sure about that until the Bubble Yum went missing. Now, I think they might be on to something. In fact, that might also explain why the house is messy all of the time. It boggles my mind how I can clean, clean, clean all day long and then wake up in the morning and the house is all messy. Yes! Someone has been breaking in, taking our Bubble Yum, and throwing crap all over the place. It's genius, really.

New Survery

Askmen.com just came out with their list of the hottest 99 women. I, for some reason, was overlooked. This is really disappointing, especially since I have lost 27 pounds. I thought I had a chance.

The winner was Katherine Heigyl. Which reminds me of how much I miss Grey's Anatomy...and The Office...and Desperate Housewives. American Gladiators just isn't cutting it, people.

Super-D-Duper!!!

I can't even tell you how happy I am that the Giants won last night in that really big game that I won't mention by name for fear of incarceration. As a Steelers fan, I have a deep-seated dislike for the Patriots anyways since we have lost ot them many times in our attempts to get the big-game-that-I-wont-mention-by-name-for-fear-of-incarceration. Plus, seeing Tom Brady F-Bomb his teammates all year when they missed a play even though they were up by like 1000 points was really un-cool, especially for someone who is a dad for crying out loud. Not that I'm a Manning family fan, either. But, really, Eli was doing it for all the little brothers out there. I am fond of little brothers, given that two of my sons are little brothers, and I have a little brother. He was doing it for the underrated, overlooked, beat-up, blamed for everything little brothers. I was glad they won. And, I was glad for Plaxico Burress, a fellow Spartan :) Yea, MSU!!!

From one souper (see how I spelled it like soup so I don't get busted!) thing to another, tomorrow is Super Tuesday. I'm really excited for this. More than likely the Republican race will be over. You know what I like though? I love how like really liberal people and really conservative people are saying "If John McCain wins, I'm voting Democrat", or "If Hillary Clinton wins, I'm voting Republican!" Reeaally? Really, Ann Coulter, if it's John McCain vs. Hillary Clinton, you're going to vote for Hillary Clinton? Really. Please. Oh, and you Obama supporters who are supporting him because you hate the Iraq war...are you really going to vote for McCain?? Reeaaally. Please. People are so silly. I think everyone of us would be better off if we only said what we meant and meant what we said. Even toddlers can recognize an empty threat.

Does anyone know if any of these candiates is a little brother?

Girl Crap

No, this isn't a post about Hayleigh's diapers, although given the fact that she has started eating some solds, it very well could be. This is a post about GIRL CRAP. The following is representative of an exchange i hear so often after school.

Me: Hey, Trish. Great to see you, how was your day?
Trisha: Terrible. _________ and I got in a fight.

Problem #1: Trisha wasn't invited to Girl A's brithday party. I am not sure why. She has been in the past. I do think in theory that a person ought to be able to invite whomever they would like to their own birthday party and not invite those whom they would not like to have at their party. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt my girl's feelings when she isn't invited. Trisha said she was hurt because Girl A just told her what a good friend she was and she shared her fried rice with her on Thursday (brought in by me for her MVP lunch.)

Problem #2. Friend B was the one who told her about Girl A's party. So, when Trisha asked Girl A why she wasn't invited, Girl A wanted to know who told her. Trisha told her it was Friend B. Friend B than told Girl A that she did not and that Trisha was liar. Girl A apparently believed Friend B.

If you have followed this far, well I thank you. This kind of crap makes me want to 1) Go up and punch Friend B and Girl A
B) Call both girls parents and give them some helpful hints on how to raise nice people. Or,
Quattro) Pull Trisha from school and homeschool her.

I know that Trisha isn't perfect and she has certainly done some things that have hurt other people's feelings. I just really can't stand this crap. It would be great if just for one week out of the school year she could come home everyday and not have had a bad day. And, while I do seriously consider the whole homeschooling thing, I am not sure that taking her away from people is going to teach her how to get along with people and teach her how to grow a thicker skin and how to learn who you can trust and who you can't. But, at the same time I am not sure that the constant barrage of negativity is good either.

Actually, I should just be thankful that Trisha wasn't invited to that party...it was sleepover and well, let's just say Trish is a girl who needs her sleep. I hope Hayleigh doesn't have these problems.

MVP

Trisha is her class MVP this week. SHe gets to do all sorts of neat things like yesterday she got to bring in a sharing sack filled with things that are important to her to share with the class. Her sharing sack contained:

1) Cinnamon- Her first WebKinz.
2) A Huge Stuffed Monkey - she got it in her 3rd grade class junk exchange. She loved her third grade teacher.
3) A stuffed lamb. She said to the class "I got this stuffed lamb out of one of those crane games right after my mom told me not to waste my money because no one ever wins on those things." The object lesson that proves mom wrong made it into the bag. That's just great.
4) Her letter from President Bush. I think some of the luster of that wore off after another kid in the class said that he got the exact same letter.
5) Assorted pictures and things
6) This one wasn't stuffed in the bag, but she brought Hayleigh in and said "This is my sister Hayleigh and she is the most important thing in the world to me."

Tonight I have to write a letter about Trisha that her teacher will read to the class tomorrow. I have strict instructions that it is not to be embarrassing. Believe me when I tell you that the pressure is on. Then on Thursday, I get to join her for lunch and what she doesn't know is that one of her friends that is homeschooled is going to join us. It's a surprise! Then on Firday all of her classmates make her a little poster with cute little signatures on them. I think it's a great idea!! Trisha's teacher this year has lots of great ideas like that.

A Controversial Subject

Well, since it was the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade this week, and since despite my best efforts to think of a different post, I can't, and since I can't quite seem to get this Everlast song out of my head, you're getting a post on abortion.

First an excerpt from the song from Everlast:

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom said he was in love.
Said don't worry about thing babydoll I'm the man you been dreamin of.
Then 3 months later he won't even return her calls.
Something something mic, mic mic.
So she heads to the clinic and she gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer and they call her a sinner and they call her a wh***
God forbid you ever have to walk a mile in her shoes,
then you really might know what it's like to have to choose.

I'll get back to that.

For now I want to go to 1997 and an ultrasound that was devastating. Two of my kids looked to have defects and that, according to the doctors was putting the life of the third in jeopardy. It was recommended that I terminate at least one, if not two of the pregnancies. I went ahead and amnios so that I could know for sure what I was dealing with and went home. The Drs said I had only a few days to make a decision. With my head swimming and my hear in oodles of pain, I called my local crisis pregnancy center and told them what was going on. The response I got?? Basically, my Christianity was questioned. The supervisor of the whole place got on the phone and told me that the hospital was just an abortion factory and that they lie to people all of the time about defects to get them to abort. I'm still bitter about that.

I am pro-life. But, I am pro-life because, like the Everlast song said, I know what it is like to have to choose. I know how it feels to be in a place where you can't imagine giving birth to this "thing". I know what it feels like to want to put those pre-pg jeans back on and pretend that this baby isn't happening. I've thought about ways to justify ending a pregnancy and I thought of excuses to tell people who wouldn't understand. I know what it is like to be in the pain of that limbo. And, I've seen the glorious imperfection of bringing that life into this world and seeing that yes, even in situations that are less than ideal, there is tremendous, tremendous value everytime God breathes life into a human.

Do I wish the Marys of the world didn't head to the clinics when they got pregnant from the Toms of the world??? Absolutely! But, it makes me more sad that people would look at us at the type that would call her names. Maybe that is because we have been. I personally feel like anyone who is working in a crisis pregnancy center should have to have had to choose. I think we would be a lot more effective.

Adventures in Paper Mache

Those of you who know me know that I am not crafty. This, along with not loving animals have been two very freeing admissions on my part. I don't do animals and I don't do crafts. Fine. I still like me. However, now that my children are getting older and getting into these projects, a certain amount of craftiness is a requirement. What ever happened to the days when all a person had to do for a book report is write a paper? Anyways, back to the paper mache. Jonathan is doing a report on alligators of all things and for his "visual aid", he chose to bring in a paper mache alligator head. Yes. You heard me. A paper mache alligator head. I think Jonathan has some ideas about me that aren't true. However, if it's a paper mache alligator head my son wants, then by-gum it's a paper mache alligator head he shall have.

I must tell you that while this was my first foray into paper mache, it actually went quite well and this green thing that I created, once we put some teeth, eyes and scaly things on it, might actually look like an alligator head. Of course, we have 1 part flour/2 parts water just about everywhere in the dining room. The directions called for salt in the glue mixture to keep it from getting moldy. I decided not to do that step thinking, "Well, I wont have the glue out for the long, for crying out loud." Never mind that the glue will be on the alligator head for quite some time. Oh well, sorry about the stench Jonathan's teacher. Really it will just make it more authentic. What alligator has a nice smelling head?

So anyway, now that I've conquered an alligator head, I'm looking for other things to paper mache. Any ideas?

Food Issues

Hayleigh has an eating disorder.

We were at her 6 month check-up yesterday and the doctor asked how she is doing on solids. Simple answer: she's really not. We've tried just about every kind of pureed crap out there and she just won't do it. Now, put a banana in a mesh feeder and she goes to town. Give her a slice of banana to gnaw on and she's in heaven. Open up a jar of pureed bananas and try to feed it to her, and she looks at me as if I have committed the most heinous act of betrayal imaginable. My girl just hates that stuff. And, apparently this is a problem. Ped. says if she isn't eating in the next few weeks, she'll have to be referred to the eating disorder clinic.

I suppose this type of referral was inevitable, given that she is female, and she is related to me. Food issues were bound to be part of her life, but really, this is earlier than I ever could have imagined. I wonder if they'll have little baby recovery meetings. Hayleigh can string together a bunch of babbling, which in baby will mean, "Hi, I'm Hayleigh. I'm here because I refuse to eat disgusting pureed crap." Hmmm. I wonder if they'll make her be an inpatient and refuse to release her until she eats.

Seriously, though, I understand that the fact that she may have "sensory issues" is important. She seems to have no problem sticking anything else in her mouth: paper, stuffed animals, lead-ridden plastic toys, markers, pencils, batteries, or anything else that may have been left on the floor. I think it's just that she's smart and doesn't like the disgusting stuff. I mean I won't even taste it before giving it to her it's so gross. I'm thinking I might just wait and follow her lead when it comes to eating solids. There's always plenty of time for the eating disorder clininc.

Gas to get to Detroit to see the Hannah Montana Concert: $85.00
Tolls from here to there to see the Hannah Montana Concert: $25.00
Refreshments at the Hannah Montana Concert: $12.00
Souveniers of Hannah Montana : $60.00




Having a fun G.N.O. with my daughter...priceless!

BTW, YouTube says that I can't post the cool videos we got from the concert, but if you want to see them, give me a holler, and I'll send them to you. Of course, I'll have to regain use of my ears to hear your holler, but that's another story.

Best Christmas Moment.

In case it's not clear, my girl's going to see Hannah Montana.

Christmas Memory #1057

The Year was 1991. I was excited for 1992 because I would be graduating from college. ROb and I had been dating a little over a year, and the topic of marriage had come up from time to time. One day we were talking about Christmas gifts and Rob said, "You'll know what it is the second you see it.". Well, of course, I knew it was going to be a ring. I told everyone I was getting engaged for Christmas. I told all of my friends, my family. Everyone. To confirm my suspicions, Rob had planned to make me a nice dinner at his house to exchange Christmas presents. What else could it possibly be?

Well, the day came and the dinner was lovely. It was time. Rob pulled out his Christmas gift to me, and sure enough, I knew exactly what it was the second I saw it. It was hairspray. 2 cans. Now, it was the expensive hairspray that I liked to use and could not always afford on my college budget, so it was a nice gift, it was just not a ring. The next day, everyone called to hear about my engagement and I told them I got...hairspray.

And, that is Christmas Memory #1057

Secret Confession

Have you seen this website?? It's pretty cool. www.postsecret.com. It's a on-going art project, it says, where people mail in their secrets on one side of a post-card. One of them today said, "I'm 22 and I'm incontinent." Big deal. Anyways, I thought I'd post my own little secret confessions right here.


** Sometimes, when no one else is in the car, I'll listen to Radio Disney...and sing along. Loudly.

** I need a little fabulous, is that so wrong?

** I'm still wearing maternity clothes.

** I'm 37 and incontinent.

** I have, on occassion, gone a whole month without changing my sheets.

** I've spent waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too much money this Christmas.

** If it were possible, I'd be wanting another baby already.

** I wanted to kiss the girl at the store who helped me find a pair of jeans that fit. The jeans even have a button and a zipper.

I feel much better now.

5 months old!

The big news here at our house is that at 5 months old, Hayleigh can sit!!
What a Big Girl :)




Since she can also roll and pivot around on the floor, she doesn't stay in one place long, unless she has something to look at. Someone left me a cute present under the tree!




Cute little baby!! There was a cuter picture of her, but it also showed my messy house. Wouldn't want any of you dear readers to have to see that!

Keeping Things Fair

WARNING: INCESSANT BRAGGING AHEAD! IF YOU DO NOT CARE TO HEAR ABOUT MY AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT CHILDREN, PLEASE READ NO FURTHER!

Ok, I got a call from Ryan's teacher yesterday. For a few short moments between her telling me who was on the phone and her telling me the reason for her call, I was thinking of all of the ways I was going to punish Ryan for whatever offense obviously precipitated this phone call. However, it was good news. Based on preliminary testing that was done on all 2nd and 4th graders, Ryan has qualified to be tested for the gifted program. This should make me happy, right? WRONG!

You see, Trisha and Jonathan are already in the gifted program (you were warned!) and if Ryan gets in, well that means that Jaden is the only one left out, and I feel badly about that. And, I don't know what to do about it. It certainly wouldn't be fair to Ryan to say that he can't have that chance because I'm afraid that it will hurt Jaden's feelings or make him feel bad about himself. I mean I could ask that Jaden be tested, he is on the borderline, but I doubt he'll get in. And, even if he did, he just doesn't have the organizational skills to handle the extra work.

We don't make a big deal about it. In fact, since Jaden is in a diffferent class from everyone else, it's not like it's regularly thrown in his face that the other kids are pulled out for special classes. When he has brought it up, we just bring up the fact that he has special skills that the other kids don't have, like being able to beat everyone in the family (besides Daddy) at arm wrestling.

I consider the fact that Jaden can even attend a regular school a true miracle. If the Spina Bifida weren't enough, he has had two near death experiences. Then, there's his shunt and the learning disabilities that are often associated with that, along with the motor planning and other issues that come with spina bifida. Add to that the fact that he has to work hard, I mean really hard, at things we take for granted, like walking or sharpening his pencil, or getting things out of his book bag. So, I think the level at which he learns is miraculous and I couldn't be prouder. I just know that he is going to be sad. I guess I need to remember that my job isn't to keep them from experiencing things that are sad, but to help them through the things that are sad, and to help them to see in them the things that I and God see in them.

Sometimes I forget that I have triplets

Sometimes I forget that I have triplets.

Oh, I know that I have plenty of school related projects that require my assistance and time. And, given that they are all in seperate class rooms, they all have seperate projects. And, I know that with sports and school things, my checkbook is always warm from being handled. And, I know that this time of the year, money is flying out of my bank account faster than you can say "Jiminy Christmas".

In times past, I couldn't leave the house without remembering that I had triplets. Three bald little baby heads travelling along in one gigantic stroller always got us lots of attention.
Stranger: "Oh are those triplets!"
Me: "Yes" (Here we go.....)
Stranger: "Three boys?"
Me: "No, the one with the dress and pink bow on her head is a girl."
Stranger: "Oh, do triplets run in your family?"
Me: "No."
Stranger: "Oh...you took fertility drugs then?"

But, now that they are older and soooooooooo different, it's more like they are three kids that are the same age rather than being triplets. Everyone at their school knows they are triplets and have gotten over the novelty of it. Since they are more self-sufficient, the logisitics of getting from point A to point B are much easier. It just feels like we are normal, whatever that means. It feels like our family is just like every other family.

Next year, for fifth grade, the triplets (I never even call them that anymore!) will be going to a new school. We'll have orientation. They'll be in three seperate classes, so I will have to try and split myself three ways. I'm betting then I'll remember I have triplets :)

Lots of Milestones

It was a big weekend for Hayleigh:

She found her feet and likes to play with them. She also like to be naked. Apparently this is soothing to her. Her brothers seem to think so also. Yesterday Trisha had a friend over all day and when she left, Jonathan and Ryan said "Finally!". I thought they were just sick of having a girl around. NOPE! They were sick of wearing clothes. Off came the shirts and pants. You don't want to stop by here unexpectedly!!



And, we had our first cereal. Trisha got to feed her and of course, Hayleigh is wearing her "I love my Big Sister" bib.



And then here she is rolling over. Actually, she's been doing that for about a month, but I just now got it on tape. Excuse me cheering for her. I'm loud, I know. Jonathan tells me this all of the time after his soccer games :)




She's also using the exersaucer now. Does this seem to be going fast to anyone else??

Black Friday

I did a little shopping yesterday. Several stores in my area were opening at 4am. I had to laugh at the JCPenney ad which said it was opening at 4am, except where prohibited by law. Evidentally, getting up at 4 am to go shopping is so obscene some places have outlawed it. I did not get up that early, but I did go before it was light out and I noticed while waiting in line at Toys R Us that there are a few different types of shoppers out early in the morning on Black Friday.

First, there's Jolly Joe. Joe is just loud and happy and who really knows why. Joe is always cracking some sort of stupid joke about how cold it is outside or how early it is while jingling change in his pocket. Joe even started whistling a little Christmas Carol while he's at it. I just smile and nod at Jolly Joe.

Then, there's the cranky grandma. I always seem to fall in line behind cranky Grandma. She complains that the line is too slow or that they need more workers or how her daughter had to go and have five kids and now she has to shop for them! Her life just sucks so bad, because not only is it Christmas, she has three birthdays to buy for too.

There's also Pete the Pervert. I don't really think that Pete is a pervert, it's just that he's only buying one gift, and well, who gets up at ungoldy hours just to buy one gift? Just to make sure no one really thinks he's a pervert, he's telling everyone who makes eye contact that the toy he has if for his nephew.

Then there is Molly Mom. Molly Mom has a Starbucks half the size of her head and a list half as long as she is. She is dressed so nicely for such an hour and her hair looks as id she actually combed it before she left. She has a plan and she is sticking to it. I'm hating Molly Mom, but it's only because I'm sort of envious of her.

Finally, there's Hurry-Up Henry. Hurry-Up Henry is literally running through the store to get what he needs. He runs to line and then tells his wife to wait there and pay while he goes to get the car. There is no time to waste for Hurry-Up Henry. He has many more stops to make before the sun comes up.

There's also me. But, I'm totally normal!

Grab youself a hunk of cheese...

...because here comes a whole lotta whine!

Ok, so I was cleaning out the closets this past weekend, when I came across THAT section in my closet. I'm sure you have THAT section also. It's clothes that used to fit me, but no longer do. I have kept them because they used to be sort of a reminder of what I once was and what I could once again achieve. I was most fond of this plum colored suit. The plum colored suit was in a size 10 and looked oh so good on me. Last time I wore that was before I got pg with Ryan. Which is sad. It has been 8 years since I've looked in a mirror and thought "Dang, Girl...you got it goin on!". 8 years. Now the suit is just depressing to me. It doesn't encourage me to do anything, except maybe emotionally eat over the fact that I used to be thin* and now I am not.

* Sidebar: I realize that to some people size 10 seems huge. In fact, I have a friend who has borrowed a lot of my size 10 clothes to be her post-pregnancy fat clothes. So, my skinny clothes are someone else's fat clothes...pathetic!!

Anyway, to continue whining, I never, ever, ever, thought I would ever weigh as much as I do. 40 extra pounds from Ryan, 20 from Hayleigh and there you have it. I told my fat rolls to go away but they seem to like it here. I suppose I could make myself feel better by thinking of all of the wonderful growth and positive character qualities I have obtained in these 8 years. From being more patient, to being able to multitask, to being less selfish, etc, etc. Right now, though, I'd give my left a** cheek to fit in that plum suit again...and, in fact, I'd have to.

Hand Turkeys

I'm sure you've seen these things. You know, when you put your hand on a piece of paper and trace your fingers to make the wings of a turkey. I have many, many, many of these in scrapbooks and safe places. They are neat because, if nothing else, they note the size of the kids' hands when they were such-and-such an age. Today I have received, from Ryan, a picture with a brand new twist on the hand turkey. Oh sure, there's the hand in the middle of the picture with the fingers brightly colored to represent feathers. And, then, well, there's a picture of a gun with brown bullets headed toward the turkey. Jaden says it's a very good drawing of a gun. I'm so proud :)

Oh yeah, I've got my s*** together!

As you can see, I've made lots of progress on my "profanity problem".

Here is a list of all of the things that I have forgotten lately, telling more and more people all over town, that I do, in fact, not have my s*** together:

Notes to school telling the teachers that someone is coming home with us or one of my kids is going somewhere. Three times in the past two weeks School Secretary has had to call me to see if I had forgotten a note. "Mrs. K, this is school secretary. Valerie has a note here that Trisha is supposed to come home with her." "Oh, yeah. Ha, ha, I forgot my note again, sorry." Big long sigh from school secretary.

Then, I got two collection notices today on medical bills. You know it's not that we don't have the money. We have plenty of money (by plenty, I mean NOT plenty). I just can't ever remember to pay the darn things.

Similarly, Ryan has a -$8.75 balance on his lunch card. Again, it's not that we don't have the money. It's that I don't have any checks. I keep forgetting to order them.

I've no-showed to 2, count them, 2 doctors appointments recently.

I totally skipped a therapy appointment. Jaden's physical therapy that is, not psycho-therapy for me, although, sure thanks, I'll take some.

Library books. These suckers were due in July. Nice. At least I know that I am personally building a wing of the new community library with my overdue fees.

I keep forgetting to buy dishwashing soap. I've been to the store four times for it. I buy lots of other things, but I still don't have the dishwasher soap. Side note: the huge piles of bubbles on my floor tells me that it is not a good idea to substitute liquid hand soap for dishwashing soap.

I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember what they are!

All of this irresponsibility is frustrating. ROb says I just have too many balls in the air. Yeah, well, that's what she said.

Aqua Dots

Another China recall. This one has a substance in it that metabolizes into the "date rape" drug. I do think China is trying to kill us by poisoning our toys. I will not buy anything made in China anymore. Which basically means, I won't be buying anything anymore.

Tales from my job

The following is an actual series of events that occurred at my job last week:

Brrrrring! Brrrring!
"Hello Dr. Dentist's Dental Office, how can I help you?"
"Hi there. This is Ms. Patient. I am trying to figure out how much money to put in my pretax account for next year and I think I am supposed to have a crown done, do you know how much that will be?"
I figure it out. "About $325 just to be safe.""OK. Thanks. Bye."

5 minutes later...

Brrrring! Brrrrrrring!
"Hello Dr. Dentist's Dental Office, how can I help you?"
"This is Ms. Patient again. Why do you sound like Alaina?" (A former hygienist).
"Oh. Do I?? That's funny."
"Yeah. Why do you sound like her?"
"Hmmm. I'm not sure, how can I help you?"
"Well, I forgot to ask if my husband needs to have any work done."
So I check. "The Doctor does not have any work indicated at this time."
"Seriously you sound like Alaina. Why do you sound like Alaina?"
"I guess we must have similar vocal cords. Is there anything else?"
"No. thank you. bye"

5 minutes later....

Brrrrring! Brrrrrrring!
"Hello Dr. Dentist's Dental Office, how may I help you?"
"This is Ms. Patient again. Do you know how many cavities I'll have this year?"
I laugh. Like ha-ha "It would be nice if we could predict that, huh?"
"No. I need to know how many cavities I am going to have next year. Me and my whole family."
"Well, there are lots of variables involved like genetics, oral hygiene, diet. It's really hard to predict."
"You have my chart, can't you just look at that and guess how many cavities I'll have."
"No, not really. I can't".
"Alaina would have."

hmmmmm.....

This is Halloween!

I have to say I love. love. love that we change our clocks back after Halloween now...I didn't have to worry once about anyone getting run over!!








The lady playing Dorothy is Miss Pop. She was Jaden's teacher last year.



I was Ryan's party mom, so I got to get this pic of him playing the toilet paper game.

Everyone loves a baby!

I had forgotten about this part. The part where everyone and their germ-infested brother wants to come up and breathe/touch your baby. And, Hayleigh, who is very, very social with her smiling and cooing and trying to sit up to see them better, just prolongs the contact. I think my favorite people have to be the ones who feel that they have to give advice. "It's chilly out, shouldn't she have a hat on?" Of course, I need to be light and love and represent Jesus, so I hold in what I really want to say and go for a Fantasy Island type script: "Smiles, everyone, smiles."

In addition to this, or perhaps, because of this I am developing what I like to call a "profanity problem". This is not good. Here are a few examples. Today, at Walmart when I was putting Hayleigh and her carseat into the shopping cart, I somehow managed to smash my boob in between the cart and the carseat. Don't ask. Suffice it to say, they're droopy. I actually needed to release the carseat in order to free my boob. This was painful and I muttered a short string of profanities. Of course someone was walking up beside their car and heard me. And, then there was the time a few days ago when I smashed my finger in Jaden's wheelchair. This time a loud string of profanities. If it wasn't bad enough that my children heard this, the front door was open and, since the bus stop is in our driveway, other people's children also got to hear this. So much for the light, love and representing! I'm going to work on my "profanity problem" and I'm going to work on walking faster through stores and not stopping to let people see my baby. That ought to work!

Trying something new

Due to the sheer volume of requests coming into my brain at one time, I will now have to install an automatic phone system for my children to use. I imagine it will go something like this:

"Thank you for calling Mom's brain, please listen carefully to the following menu options. Para espanol, esquedar numero uno. For help with homework, please press 2. To summon the taxi service, please press 3. For the chef, please press 4. If you'd like poop cleaned out from your diaper, please press 5. If you need help finding some lost item, please press 6. For money, please press 7. For more money, please hang up and try a different number. If this is a life threatening medical emergency please bypass the phone system by screaming really loud. All other callers please remain on the line until the next available brain cell can answer your call. Thank you."

The Wild, Wild World of Sports

I've been wanting to post for some time now about the crazy world of little league sports. The problem is: I'm not really sure what I want to say, I have so many mixed feelings regarding it. It used to be that I loved watching my boys play, win or lose. I loved watching them get better at skills and the pride on their faces as they achieved certain things. Sure, they would mess up and make mistakes, but that was part of it too and it was OK. But, as I sit at baseball games where grown men fight over where to put chalk lines, I can't help but wonder what we are even doing being involved. Rob even overheard two coached talking about parents who ask why their kid never gets to play such and such a position. The coach says, "I think to myself, your kid is never going to be a 1st baseman, so why should I put him in 1st base". He's talking about 7 & 8 year olds of course.

Ryan plays on a team that is undefeated. He will most likely win the championship this weekend without ever once losing a game. Great, right? The only problem is that the coach is so focused on winning, that Ryan isn't given a chance to try out new positions and he's so nervous up to bat, he can hardly hit the ball. I like Ryan's coach, really. But, I think it's so unfortunate. This is only his second season of ever playing baseball, and his confidence is shot. He doesn't even really look forward to going. And, inside my heart breaks for him. He's 7 years old for heaven's sake! Taking this thing too seriously is terrible. Listen, maybe 1 or 2 of these kids will get a baseball scholarship to college. Maybe. But, the self esteem blows to the others, who are told at 7, "you'll never be a first baseman" will last much, much longer.

Jonathan moved up to a travel soccer league this year. For the past several seasons, Jonathan has been one of the most valuable players on his in-house team and has gotten a lot of playing time. It has made him a better player. In travel, everyone is good, so he subs like everyone else. That was an adjustment for me, but it's OK now. Jonathan's team is 1-3-1. Probably not going to win any championships, but his coaches are committed to player development and realize that these kids are 10, and have lots of growth ahead of them. Jonathan's skills have improved alot. But, some parents wonder why we don't win more games and are starting to flap their gums a little bit about what should be done differently. Like Jonathan's coach said, "It shouldn't be that way [competitive to the point of leaving players behind], but parents want to win."

I don't know I guess I'd rather just have my boys learn some new skills, learn sportsmanship, have fun, make friends, learn to work as a team, learn to hang in there and work hard despite the score, learn to do your best, and then, maybe after all of that, win some games. I would rather have my son feel good about himself on a losing team, then feel stressed out on a winning team. I know I sound like a softie, afterall as men they will have to learn to compete and win in the business world, right? Maybe...but, I guess at 10 and 7, I'm leaning more toward letting them be boys, then making them be men. My sons are more than the sum total of their athletic abilities. I'll close with this poem:

He pulls on a helmet, picks up the bat,
and walks to the plate, "gotta hit and that's that."
The crowd starts to yell, the game's on the line,
last inning, two outs, the score's nine to nine.

Dad yells, "Go get it," Mom wrings her hands,
coach hollers, "hit it," but alone there he stands.

Heros are made in seconds such as this,
but he's just a little boy, what if he should miss?
Years after this game's ended and he's little no more,
will he remember the outcome or even the score?

No he'll have forgotten if he was out, hit, or a run,
he'll only look back on his friends and, hopefully, the fun.

So cheer this boy on, alone with his fate;
help him remember with fondness this stand at the plate.
And when the game's over, this boy can stand tall,
for you've helped him prepare to give it his all!

3 months old

Already...it's so sad!



Here she is showing us this new thing she found in her mouth.



Showing off her great neck strength.



Sucking her thumb. Yes, another one we'll have to get orthodontia for.



Smily Girl!



Just a cute, chubby little baby :)

She's smiling, laughing, squealing, cooing, sleeping through the night. Like Ryan said, "It's like she's finally growing some brains!"

McDonald's

I have two things I want to say about McDonald's:
1. Their iced coffee is very good. For about $2.25 you can get a huge cup of coffee that is actually pretty good. If you got that size of coffee at Starbucks, you would need a second mortgage on your home. Downside: It's 6 WW points :(.

2. Have you seen this thing about the McDonald's worker who was "forced" into taking off all of her clothes. Apparently, some man called claiming to be a police officer and told the manager to bring her into the office because some customers had filed a complaint that she had stolen from them. SO, to prove it, the manager had to have the girl take off all of her clothes. That is somewhat bizarre, but it didn't stop there. Throughout the course of several hours, the girl was "forced" to perform sex acts on herself and on the manager's fiance. This was all through the "direction" of some man on the phone claiming to be a police officer. Anyway, teh girl sued McDonald's of all things, and won $5 million.

I think two things about this. One is that this illustrates clearly to me why parents can not and should not in this day and age teach our children a blanket philosophy of obeying authority no matter what. It would be a much easier job if we could do that, but instead we have to teach them how to discern when to obey and when not. I find this to be much trickier. The other thing I think is that just when I think maybe, as a society, we are turning away from ridiculous lawsuits, this girls wins $5 million from McDonald's...please! BTW, when I say girl, I mean woman...she was 18. It's a bizarre, bizarre case.

Oh, and the other thing I think is that I wish Rob would stop walking around with a phone pretending like there is an officer on the other end wondering what I've done with someone's money!

What I'm thinking about today

Hannah Montana. If you do not know who this is, then you obviously don't have a tweenaged daughter. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus is just about the biggest thing around if you are of a certain age, and it just so happens she is coming to my town right after Christmas. I remember that desperate time I once had, being in 8th grade when Michael Jackson came to town. We didn't or couldn't get tickets, I don't know. I can't even remember how many times I tried to be "Caller #12" into WDRQ. No luck. So, I decide that I will try my hardest to get tickets to this concert of a lifetime for my daughter. Except...

Except, that there happens to be a software company that sells software that makes it easy for scalpers to bypass the internet line and scoop up all the tickets. And, then these scalpers, after getting the tickets, sell them for an astronomical amount of money, and this seriously pisses me off.

I know there are grave atrocities that happen in this world. Babies are starving, left orphaned, forced into sex-slavery rings. I realize that this does not rank up there with that, but to purposefully buy up tickets and then sell them for over 5-6x the face value is wrong. They know they can do it because there will always be a silly parent willing to pay this amount of money to try and make their child's dream come true. I am seriously tempted myself. Town after town, concert after concert, this is what is happening. Anyone who does this simply does not have one shred of decency or morality in them...I'm sorry.

And, that's what I'm thinking about today.

Eddie Cohorst

I'm sure that most of you right now are saying "Who?".

I know that you do not know who Eddie Cohorst is, but I know that all of you went to school with a kid like Eddie. He was the kid that always got into trouble. Was just always doing something bad. Teachers rolled their eyes when they found out Eddie was going to be in their class, and so did we students. Eddie's antics started out in grade school innocently enough. I remember in middle school shop class, he laid himself on his stomach on top of a table and proceeding to roll himself back and forth on the table yelling "rollerballs!" I had no idea what that meant, but I could only assume it was some sort of reference to his testicles. As Eddie grew, his antics which started out as social became more and more anti-social. I guess since Eddie had heard so many times that he was bad and was a trouble maker, he decided to be bad and be a trouble maker.

I've been thinking alot about Eddie Cohorst lately. Or rather, I've been thinking alot about Mrs. Cohorst. What did she think about all of this? Did she try her hardest to work with Eddie or did she just not care? Did it break her heart that he was sort of an outcast and that teachers gave him a hard time or did she just decide to throw her hands up in exasperation? Did the fact that Eddie couldn't behave in school keep her up at night? Did she fight with school authorities for people to let up on him? Did she have him medicated?

I wonder because Ryan has been getting into trouble at school. And, the last thing I want is for him to be an Eddie. He's smart. It seems like it would be such a waste f he were to end up hating school because he's always in trouble. He's social. It would be a shame if he were to end up being anti-social because he's sick of people telling him he's bad. That's why I want to know about Mrs. Cohorst...I want a different result than with Eddie. Sometimes there is a very thin line between the class clown that becomes president and turns out to be CEO of this and that company and the class weirdo who ends up dealing drugs and in jail. I would obviously prefer the CEO scenario. We've been working with his teacher and with Ryan and I think things are improving. Good thing he's cute...

I think I'm going to google Eddie Cohorst to see if I can ever find out what happened to that kid...I hope, for my own sanity's sake, that I find something good!

It's the little things...(Part 2)

That make everything worth it.

We had open house tonight. The 4th graders wrote up a little newspaper thing-y. Trisha wrote her main article about Hayleigh and her thoughts and feelings about her birth. SHe said she was nervous because she didn't know what it would be like to have a baby around. She said she was excited because she was waiting her whole life for a sister. She said I was her hero because I always listened to her and helped her. The last line in her Hayleigh story was that she looked at Hayleigh and I said "She loves you" and Trisha said "I know". It was just beautiful...not only what she said, but the eloquance with which she said it. She may one day have a blog herself.

As it turned out, Trisha wasn't the only one who said I was their hero. Jaden also said I was his hero because I got married and if I didn't get married, he wouldn't be born. Rob got some props as he was Jonathan's hero.

There's not a lot of immediate gratification in being a parent. It's not like at work when I work really hard on the receivables and the next week, I see percentages go where I want them to go. Often times, I don't see the effects of my work as a mother....or, instead I should say I only seem to see the bad effects. Like, so-and-so is doing that thing again...must be because I'm not doing this-and-that. That's what makes nights like tonight so special. I guess the work that I, and all of us parents are doing does pay have its rewards. In the hallway of an elementary school hangs at least some validation and the stamina to keep giving this motherhood thing my best shot.

It's the little things...

That can really drive a person to drink. Let's just take yesterday for an example.

Annoyance #1 For the sake of complete accuracy, I will start yesterday at 12:00 am meaning midnight. Hayleigh awakens at her usual time between 3 and 4 am. I do not know what actual time it is because I am 75% asleep. I trip over my breast pump, the laundry basket, and two pairs of shoes on my way out the bedroom door. Feed Hayleigh as usual. Rock her to sleep. Put her in crib. She wakes up. Repeat. 3 times.

Annoyance #2 Jonathan has decided to play the drum this year. I think that's all I need to say about that.

Annoyance #3 Work. My job is to handle all of the billing. I was off for two months and now upon my return there are patients whose accounts have gone into arrears and are in danger of being turned over to collections. I try to be nice and call these people. Here's a conversation I had: "Hi, I'm going to turn you over to collections." "OK". "OK? I mean if you can pay anything today, I will not turn you over." "No, you can just turn me over." What?!?!? I made her wish come true later that day.

Annoyance #4 My cat. We still for some reason (well because Rob keeps feeding the darn thing!) have Kosmo the cat. He (Kosmo) left me a little present yesterday of a dead chipmunk right on the welcome mat. What made this particular gift so unusual was that it was decapitated. Thanks, Kosmo. Why, oh why must I live with this cat. I swept it( the chipmunk) into the bushes where it will begin to reek to high heaven in just a few days...goodie!

Annoyance #5 Insomnia. Yes, folks if it wasn't bad enough that I have to get up to feed Hayleigh, I can't sleep. Last night I couldn't fall asleep because my feet were itchy. Why you might ask? Because I made the mistake of going to a bonfire wearing Crocs. Everywhere there is a hole in the croc, there is some sort of bug bite on my foot. It literally matches up hole for bite. If it were on someone else's feet I would find it amusing.

It's days like this that I understand what Jesus meant when he said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of it's own. Amen! Today, so far, the only annoying thing is that I stayed the same at my weigh-in. 6.2 pounds lost though. Take that, fat rolls!

2 months old

Late again! But, I'm having a hard time finding time to even go to the bathroom, so I feel like one week late is pretty good!!

The Breakup

Dear Fat Rolls,

I have decided that it is time for us to take a break from each other. I know it's sudden, but I have decided that I no longer like you hanging around. Sure, we've had some good times. Like the time I laid down on my bed to get my zipper all the way up. But then you got the last laugh because when I stood up you sort of flopped over the top like a mushroom. Oh, we laughed and laughed over that one. I think I will miss the way you always said "hello" to me everytime I lifted my shirt to feed Hayleigh. That was nice to know I wasn't alone in the middle of the night. With you, I have been so lucky. Most women only have one set of boobs, but because of you, fat rolls, I have two, one in the front and one in the back. I'll miss my back boobs. Despite all of these good times, I think I need to let you go. I hope that losing you will be quick and painless. Besides, I know that you will move on and find some other woman to hang out with. If you get lonely, try the OB office. I know I've picked up several of you there over the years myself. I wish you well, fat rolls. Goodbye~

Me

Back to School (already)

So, the kids are back at school. It seems like maybe they had a month off. It went quick. To the kids, this will probably be known as the most boring summer ever, and I do feel bad for them. In June, they pretty much sat around and watched me be miserable adn pregnant and then after July 10th, they pretty much sat around and watched me nurse. Not too exciting. Case in point: Jaden was asked to bring in something to share with his classmates that would be symbolic of something he did over summer vacation. He wanted to bring in a baseball bat. Why?? To tell everyone about how he got in the head with it. That, apparently was the most exciting thing about the summer. Thankfully, I remembered that that actually happened at the end of last year, and thus, does not count. I think he ended up bringing in a Webkinz because that was his favorite thing that he got from his summer birthday.

Something exciting did happen this summer though for the older kids. Since we didn't go anywhere or do anything, the kids were forced to pay with each other. And, they did. During the school year when they are each running to soccer or baseball or basketball or drama, they really don't spend much time together. There were actually times this summer when I heard them laughing and playing together. It was nice. Of course, this changed during the last few weeks of vacation when it was all I could do to kick them out for fighting so much! But, for awhile there, it was nice.

It is always hard to say goodbye to them and it always seems like the house is a little bit too quiet without them around. Surprisingly, even having a baby didn't change that. But, I think they are each going to have a great year.

The Decadians

The date was August 27, 1997. It was before President Clinton "did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinski", and when Princess Diana was still alive (if only for a few days). There were still two twin towers and relative peace in the middle east. Locally, we were excited to start a new Steelers season with Kordell, Yancey Thigpen, and that new guy, Jerome Bettis. I don't remember what gas prices were, but I can guarantee the words "hmmmm 2.63 a gallon, that's pretty good" never came out of my mouth. And, in three short minutes my life changed forever with the birth of three precious little souls.

Those precious little souls turned 10 today. 10. That's almost unbelievable. Many moments of these 10 years are such a blur. But, I do remember the sleepless nights and trying to keep in mind that seasoned mothers of multiples told me the first year was the hardest. Then, when they got to be arounud 18 months, I realized the mothers of multiples lied to new mothers...the second year is the hardest. I remember snuggles and bedtime kisses. I remember firsts: walking, talking, preschool, kindergarten. I remember them loving Barney, Sesame Street, and the Teletubbies. I remember seeing God in a fresh perspective that only young children can bring. Oh, it's been tiring and stressful and hard, but it has been rewarding and exciting and wonderful.

Now, Barney and Teltubbies have given way to Hannah Montana and High School Musical. The firsts we have to look forward to are more scary: crushes, kisses, heartbreaks. Lucky for me, I still get plenty of snuggles and bedtime kisses. The long, lonely days of being home with toddlers has given way to days that go by far too quickly. I am so proud of who my children are at this age. I really give most of this credit to God. I love who each one of them is and are turning into.

I can't beleive my babies are 10. Sure, the world may have changed a lot since this date 10 years ago, but not nearly as much as those teeny tiny babies changed my world and stole my heart. Happy Birthday guys, I love you.

La La Land

There's where I must have been a few short months ago. You see, I imagined that by 6 weeks, Hayleigh would be sleeping through the night, I would be back in my pre-pg clothing and I would be back volunteering at church and school just like before. Instead, we are still up twice a night, my maternity clothing is now my regular clothing and I am lucky if I can shower daily, much less help someone else do something. What was I thinking???


Speaking of La La Land, sleep deprivation does strange things to people. I remember with the trips this little exchange happened:

Jaden's NICU nurse: "You look so well rested Mrs. Klan, I know you can't be getting much sleep."

Me: (At least what I thought I said or meant to say)"Well, caffeine does wonders."
Me: (What I actually said) "Cocaine does wonders".

Nice...

This time:
Me:"Hi, Trisha's othodontic applaince is loose, she needs to see the doctor."
receptionist: "Well, the doctor is out of town this week. The soones we can get her is next Tuesday."
Me: "Ok, that will be fine...is it OK if she eats" ?
Receptionist: (LONG PAUSE) "Well it probably wouldn't be good for her to eat nothing for the next week."
Me: Yeah...

Also, I tend to stop mid sentence and never finish, like this example

Me:"Hi. can you babysit for me on Tuesday. Just the four older kids, I'll take the baby."
Babysitter:"Sure. What time?"
Me:"Well if you could be here at 5 till 9 .........."
Babysitter: "OK"
Well, when she didn't show up at 8:55, I called her mom. SHe thought I wanted her from 5-9 pm. And, since I didn't finish my sentence, well who could blame her.

And then there was this really funny one involving the mailman and a pair of socks.........................................................................................................

Pony League World Series and Some Laughs

So, a few days ago Jaden participated in what has become a yearly event for him: The "Friends" game that opens the Pony League World Series. This is something that is very exciting for Jaden. And, for some reason, every year I always get emotional watching it. I'm not always sure why. I thought perhaps it was because I was so happy to see Jaden so excited...that could be. I thought perhaps it was because of the contrasts. I mean here are some of the best 13 and 14 year old players in the world, and then there's Jaden, which although extremely athletic and wonderful, a Pony league player he will never be. Maybe that's it, but heck, Jonathan or Ryan are mostl likely never going to play in the Pony League World Series, and that doesn't upset me. So, for some years now I haven't been able to put my finger on it. Until this year.

I realized the reason I get so emotional is because of the condescension. Like the announcer continually saying how the "friends" are creaming the pony leaguers and how embarassing it is. I don't think Jaden knows any better. FOr now, I think he still believes that he legitimately beat a Pony League team. I'm not going to be the one to tell him, but I feel bad that one day he is going to figure it out and that might taint the memories he has of these games. I don't think he knows yet, that to the fans and the players, we are to be pitied. I don't know how he will feel when he figures that out.

ANYWAYS, to brighter topics...some recent quotes:

Ryan: "Jaden what was the final score?"
Jaden:"Like 10 to 0"
Ryan: "Whoa man you totally dominated!"
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Trisha: "Mom, can I get hardwood floors in my bedroom for my birthday?"
Me: "No."
Trisha: "Ok. How abut hair extensions?"
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Jonathan: "Jaden I know you want to be a professional basketball player when you grow up, but what if that doesn't work out. You need a Plan B."
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Ryan: (while looking at Hayleigh's naked chest) "Pretty soon, Hayleigh, those are going to get really big."
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Me: "I think I am going to need to buy Trisha some bras".
Rob: "Shut up"
Me: "well, you know, she is going into 4th grade, and I think I had my first bra in 4th grade. And, if you think of it, she could be in 5th grade, and heck, some girls had their periods when I was in 5th grade."
Rob: "No, really. Shut up."
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One Month Old

Ok, I lied..she's really five weeks old, but I did mean to put these pics up when she turned 1 month old.

Balance

It wasn't long after becoming a mother that I realized my main job was to keep life balanced in the home. Maybe many first time moms don't see that, maybe they do. But, because I had triplets and one with "special needs", I quickly saw that without some vigilance things could quickly get unbalanced.

For instance, I never have liked the term "special needs" when referring to a handicapped child. Because, really what does this mean?? I mean really all of us have special needs. I know that Trisha has a special need for cuddling and for one-on-one time...always has. I know that Jonathan has a special need to have his own space and to be warned of things that are going to be different from the norm. Ryan has a special need to have his sensitive side protected. And, to think for one instance that Jaden's special needs have anything to do with his inabiltiy to walk would be to not value him as a person. He has a special need to talk through anxious situations and to be given opportunities to act like any other child. So, you see they each have needs and no one is greater than the other or more legitimate than the other.

All of this to say, that I have decided to let up on myself and the breastfeeding. This comes after several days of near constant feeding. You see, Hayleigh's special needs right now are for nutrition and for physical touch. And, through breastfeeding her needs have usurped the needs of everyone else in the house and things have gotten terribly unbalanced. SO, I began thinking that if I could meet her need for nutrition and closeness in a way that doesn't take ALL DAY LONG then that might be a good idea for all of us, even if does mean (GASP!) that she may have to drink formula from time to time. If by doing that it can free up some of my time to meet the special needs of my other kids and hey, maybe even a need or two of my husband's and still meet Hayleigh's needs, I think it has to be a win/win.

Of course, I wish I was able to successfully EBF (exclusively breastfeed) at least one of my kids. Just not in the cards. I'm not sure I am willing to throw my entire family under the bus when there is a way that is easier and softer on all of us. It's more balanced. And, that's my job. To keep balance in the home, so that everyone here can find a place where there special needs are being met.