Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I went to WhiteTrashVille and all I got was this stupid (but clean) Tshirt

My dryer is broken. I'm hesitant to buy a new one since we are planning on moving and I would hate to buy a new electric dryer, only to find out that our new house requires gas. Plus, I want this this one and I'm hoping that when we move and money is flying out all over the place, Rob will let me get it.

Let's just pause for a moment and gaze at it's beauty.

OK, back to the story.

I haven't done laundry in a long time because of the broken dryer. The kids started complaining about having no clean underwear...blah, blah, blah. I reminded them that needed to be grateful they had underwear at all. I mean some children have to make their own underwear out of tree bark and papyrus grass. But, since I do live by the rule that one must always wear clean underwear in case of an accident, I went to that mecca of white-trashedness....the laundromat.

I have to admit I was a little nervous. But, with my laundry, soap, Starbucks Venti-Half-Caf Skinny Vanilla Latte, Vera Bradley baby bag, and baby in hand, I went. And....I was surprised. It was clean. It smelled nice. I was doing 8 loads of laundry at once. I even started thinking that maybe I would not get a new dryer. That instead this would be the way I would do laundry from now on. BUt then...other people showed up. And. One of them decided to talk to me.

He is showing me this PSP that he has and is telling me about how he can download movies and games and how the quality is so good. See, he says and turns the screen around to show me...black porn. That's what he calls it anyways. He tells me he's into black porn. Wow...um, that is great picture quality. Wow. Then he tells me that the PSP isn't hot or anything. He gets it from rich kids, probably from like my neighborhood who want something from him and maybe they don't have cash, but mommy and daddy give them nice toys and they want stuff from him, so he's fair, he trades. He also got this nice ring that he shows me and asks me how much I think it is worth. I don't know sir. Then he shows me Grand Theft Auto on his PSP again. Again, wonderful picture quality. I'm very impressed.

Thankfully, my dryer starts beeping that it's done. The clothes are still damp, but I don't care. It's time to go. Good Luck with everything sir, I tell him as I leave because really I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I didn't have to travel far to see that insanity. And, now I don't know what I will do in like 2 days when I have 8 more loads of laundry to do.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Spare the Rod, Spoil my Day

Here in Kiddyland, we tend to be non-spankers. By we tend to be, I mean I do not and Rob probably still would if the situation warranted. This wasn't always teh way it was. I used to spank. But, then for a host of reasons, I decided that wasn't a parenting technique I wanted to use. For starters my children are older and it just didn't seem to make sense anymore. Also, it is truly not my children's currency. I could probably spank them all day or until my hand fell off and it wouldn't have much of an effect. I didn't like the way it made me feel, either. I hated telling my children don't hit all the while I was hitting them, and I don't care what parents say about how you make your child go into their room and then you go in and spank calmly, if spanking is part of your repertoire, then I am sure a spanking in anger has happened at least once. It has here. I didn't like it. I stopped spanking altogether.

The thing is though that spanking is so easy. It didn't require any thought on my part. My kid is bad. He/she gets spanked. My kid is really bad. He/she gets spanked multiple times. And so on. Now, when a kid misbehaves, I have to be creative and think of something really good. Something that is really going to get them and drive the point home. And, well, that spoils my day.

All this being hypothetical, of course. You all know my children are perfect angels.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Primary Day

So, it's the Pennsylvania Prmiary day. I voted. I'm not really sure why. I was the 12th Republican to vote at my polling place today. :)

In Pennsylvania you have to be a registered member of the party whose election you would like to vote in. I contemplated changing my party affiliation just to vote in the democratic primary. But, I didn't for two reasons:

1) I just really couldn't stand the thought of getting all of those annoying phone calls from democrats urging me to vote for so and so. I don't want to be on anyone's list that would in any way suggest that it's a good idea for a democrat to call me. Now listen, I have many good, smart friends who are democrats and I am glad that they call me. Please keep calling me. I just can't handle the "Hello, Mrs. Lady-of-the-house, if you hate George Bush as much as I do (insert various and sundry comments here linking him to everything from high gas prices to 416 abused children in a Texas compound ), then you'll vote for so-and-so. No thanks.

2) I don't care who wins. I guess prevailing thought is that we want to go up against HRC. I don't know. She scares me a bit. She seems to be able to pull wins out of her butt, or somewhere else, just when it looks like she's going to die. I also think that Obama has some skeletons that can easily be exposed. Either way, this loooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg democratic primary season has been good for us. It's still a long way to November though.

Oh, and when I voted, I wrote myself in for something. Just for fun. Wouldn't that be hysterical if I won. I hope I do, since I've been looking for a way to fill that 5 minutes of free time I have everyday.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Act Naturally

So, I allow my children to each have a "mental health" day. Otherwise known as "playing hookey". Today was Ryan's day. He picked a good one, being that it's 70 degrees and sunny outside. However, since my children eat me out of house and home and seeing that Hayleigh was wearing the last diaper in the house, we had to go to WalMart. While we are there, we see a police officer, walking toward us. Ryan must have been a little nervous, because he whispered to me, "It's the cops. Act natural." He then begins to sort of whistle and look around. All the while we are walking toward the police man and he is walking toward us. As we pass each other, Ryan stops his whistling and his casually looking around to say, "Hello, Officer" in his cheesy voice. (Think 70s pick-up line cheesy) This, apparently, is acting natural.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

House Selling 101

Certainly by now you must have been asking yourselves "What is going on in Kiddyland? Why have there been no new posts in Kiddyland?" I know. I apologize. You see, here in Kiddyland, we have been trying to unload this hunk of junk that we like to call a house. Many of you who have been visitors in Kiddyland for some time now will recall that I often refer to my house as "the crappit", "the hell hole" or my personal favorite, "the stinky place". My realtor, of course, tries to put as positive of a spin as she can on it. What can I say? I have five kids. We live here. I am, however, getting sick of people coming through and saying they hate it.

Maybe I am going about this the wrong way. I've been doing everything all of those shows tell you to do to sell your house: clean, put away clutter, etc. Maybe this is just the type of house that is the exception to the rules. I mean, you can't fully appreciate the beauty of my house until you've tried to manuever through the family room without piercing your foot on a Pokemon toy. You can't fully experience the ambience without there being something smelly like a diaper or shoes or socks laying around. You can't fully understand the amenities the house has to offer until you've walked into the bathroom and realized that one of the boys has left the seat down to pee, again. (BTW, how DOES pee get all over the walls...lets focus on one thing at a time, boys. One thing at a time.)

I'm sure the right buyer is out there. Somewhere. BTW, if any of the above sounds appealing to you...let me know. I'm sure we can work out a great deal!!