So, I know i haven't been blogging. I'm unmotivated.
4 months until the 10K. I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked. But, I am making progress. Today I had two good victories. One was that I went to the gym and I ran on a Saturday. Usually, I just do the elliptical on Saturdays because there are so many young, skinny people running on the treadmills, I was afraid I would feel silly. It's amazing to me how each day I can feel different. One day I can feel like I'm really losing weight and toning up and the next I feel like Dr. Phil and his cameras are going to be busting into my house to do a story on the world's fattest woman. But, I read in a book "Courage to Start" that you have to start with the body you have and so that is what I have done. And, today, I went on the treadmills with all of the young, skinny people and I ran, or rather jogged, or really wogged (walking/jogging).
Secondly, I ran for the longest time I have ever run....5 minutes. Which isn't all that great. BUt, I remember the very first time I tried to run, I couldn't wait for the one minute to be over because I thought I might die. And, after walking for 5 minutes, I ran another minute and my shins were screaming at me to stop. Today, 5 minutes running (jogging), 3 minutes walking 5 times. I'm making progress.
When I start on the treadmill, I always listen to Van Halen's Right Now for my pep-me-up, because right now I am turning this thing around. And by thing, I mean my life. I am tired of hating my body. I am tired of feeling like crap about the way I look. I am tired of being a bad example for my children of a healthy lifestyle. I'm tired of not wanting to be in any pictures with my family because of how I look. I need to turn this thing around. Right now. Not only have I let myself get unhealthy and bloated physically, I've let this happen spiritually too. This running thing is a spiritual experience for me as well.
Last night at small group we talked about the difference between trying and training. Someone can try something...that's no guarantee it can happen. BUt in training, you have a goal, you have baby steps to get you there and if you keep at the disciplines, you will get there. I hope so!