Thursday, July 27, 2006

Big Brother

You have to help me! I am in the throws of a very powerful addiction! I am hooked on Big Brother 7 - All Stars. It's true. I love it. I can't get enough. I watch every episode and although I haven't stooped so far as to buy the Live Feed package, I do read the daily postings of those who have. You know, there is a girl who stays up all night to watch the houseguests and report on their happenings. As much as I'd like to think that is totally weird, most of the good strategizing happens in the middle of the night, so I'm really glad she does it! My sister says I need to get a life, and perhaps that's true. After James wins the big money and spltis it with his biggest fan (me), I'll be sure to get started on it. Big Brother isn't watching me, I'm watching it!

Speaking of 1984, I've been school shopping with Trisha lately and I've noticed that tight, pegged ankle length jeans with boots are back as are wearing black leggings under a short denim skirt. Big bangs can't be far behind, right? And I was jst getting used to the "long and lean" look of the flared leg jean. Those 80s pants just made me look short and stumpy....bummer.

In the words of Jaden: peace, out!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Michigan

Michigan's OK. I mean it's not Penna and it's not "round in the ends and high in the middle", but it's pretty OK. Yesterday the kids and I got back from a fun time visiting with my parents. On the first day, we went to a lake and swam. Do you know how much it cost...$4.00 for the whole family!! For $20.00, you could get a pass to come to the lake for the whole year and swim. That's a $165.00 savings over the 5 pool passes I bought. Now, of course, that would not be a full savings, because if you are going to swim in a lake all summer, you'd have to account for the copays of hospital visits and pharmaceuticals required to rid your family of various bacterium such as E.Coli or MRSA. But, still, a better deal.

On another day, we went to the Rainforest Cafe. I think only Auburn Hills and Disneyworld/land have Rainforest Cafes, so you know it's gotta be an alright place. Good times and where else can you ahve good food and have your kids freak out from loud thunderstorms every 30 minutes...just kidding...I love it there. Makes me want to move there, I tell ya.

Also, when I was there I read a very disturbing book that I can't get out of my head. It is called, "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoulet. I read it in like 4 hours. About a family dealing with a daughter with Leukemia. There's alot to it and I highly recommend it, but I could really see myself in the mom of the book. I hate to compare cancer to Spina Bifida, but I think one thing I could see is that when you have a kid with some chronic health problems, there are bound to be times when your other kids are "thrown under the bus" so to speak, while you deal with the tragedy at hand.

A good trip was had by all...

Friday, July 14, 2006

Yikes!

TRISHA HAS CHICKEN POX.

I know, it's like saying she has an 8 track player or an Atari system. She had even been vaccinated. Lord help me!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Happy Birthday, Little King

6 YEARS OLD!!! It is so hard to believe. But, as they say, time flies when you're having fun and I so enjoy having Ryan for a son. BTW, the name Ryan means "Little King"

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thanks Craiglist!

I don't know how to do links, but this was so funny, I had to make sure you saw it. Makes me very thankful I no longer work in an office...Enjoy! :)

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N): A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the hereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS: A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD: An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Four Things about me
Things you may not have known about me.....
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. McDonald's Drive Thru lady
2. Dental Receptionist
3. Something-or-other at a Financial Services Firm
4. Leasing Agent for an Apartment Complex

B) Four Movies I would watch over and over.
1. Grease
2. Father of the Bride
3. Jerry Maguire
4. Terms of Endearment

C) Four Places I have lived
1. Milford, MI
2. East Lansing, MI
3. Bethel Park, PA
4. Canonsburg PA

D) Four TV shows I love to watch
1. Guiding Light
2. Survivor
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Amazing Race

E) Four places I've been on vacation
1. Nassau, Bahamas
2. St. Petersburg, FL
3. Disneyworld
4. Amaraillo, TX

F) Web sites I visit
1. EverythingFing.blogspot.com
2. noelheikkinen.com
3. ebay.com
4. mothering.com

G) Four of my favorite foods
1. ice cream
2. pizza
3. anything mexican
4. Gorgeous Gorgonzola salad from Bella Piatto

H) Four Places I'd rather be right now
1. The Beach
2. Heaven
3. Shopping
4. Asleep in bed

OK, LURKERS, here's your chance, jump in and tell me more about you by answering the same questions. Doesn't it sound like fun :-)