Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The Breakup

Dear Fat Rolls,

I have decided that it is time for us to take a break from each other. I know it's sudden, but I have decided that I no longer like you hanging around. Sure, we've had some good times. Like the time I laid down on my bed to get my zipper all the way up. But then you got the last laugh because when I stood up you sort of flopped over the top like a mushroom. Oh, we laughed and laughed over that one. I think I will miss the way you always said "hello" to me everytime I lifted my shirt to feed Hayleigh. That was nice to know I wasn't alone in the middle of the night. With you, I have been so lucky. Most women only have one set of boobs, but because of you, fat rolls, I have two, one in the front and one in the back. I'll miss my back boobs. Despite all of these good times, I think I need to let you go. I hope that losing you will be quick and painless. Besides, I know that you will move on and find some other woman to hang out with. If you get lonely, try the OB office. I know I've picked up several of you there over the years myself. I wish you well, fat rolls. Goodbye~



Mindy Richmond said...

You are hilarious - milk-out-the-nose hilarious. Can I post a link to this on my blog? This is the kind of genius that needs to be shared!

momteacherfriend said...

Ah yes! Good bye indeed.
Well said.