Here are two books I have been reading lately as part of my quest to "Get Trisha Through Her Teen Years Without Pregnancy, STD, Date Rape, or Drunken Cell Phone Usage". I can sum up both of these books in three words: Terr. I. Fying. It makes it seem almost hopeless to try and overcome the influences seen and heard on a daily basis; to try an overcome the desire for male attention and the desire to be "popular" and to have the best clothes and the best everything so that by some miracle you can be a queen bee or at the very least NOT the person that everyone picks on.
By wordly standards, Trisha is probably off to a good start. Since starting the 5th grade, she's been invited to cool parties and been told she has cool clothes and even achieved that prize of prizes: being listed as one of the hot girls in her class. I can't really relate to that at all. I can assure you that I WAS NOT on anyone's list of hottest girls in 5th grade. Unless someone was listing who was sweating the most during gym class. Then I might have made a hottest girl list. And, it's not so much that she made the list, heck she can't help that she's cute...it's that she was so proud of herself for making this list.
The books do have some good suggestions that I am going to take heed of. Like going out to breakfast once a month to talk about what's going on in her life. The goal is to find out what she values and why and to tell her what I value and why. I also need, in the next year or so, to talk frankly about the dangers that lurk out there. And, to tell her that there are plenty of things one can do to get attention, but how will that make her feel?
Wouldn't it be nice if I could have total control of everything all of the time? But, then, what would I do with all of that free time I currently use worrying about things...
4 comments:
Over from ICLW, thanks for the book reviews!
I am scared.to.death for all my friends who have pre-teens or teens right now. Man - that is a big bite to chew, ya know? Good luck with that, honestly. And, it sounds like you're preparing for it the best you can so you'll all be better for it in the long run, right? Oh, and btw, I was at the BOTTOM of the hot list in 5th grade. Unless you think 1-inch think glasses, braces (with headgear) and long nasty hair with no bangs as "HOT." ICLW
Have you ever seen the movie Thir.teen? I believe that's what it was called with Ho.lly Hunte.r. I almost wanted to get my tubes tied after witnessing that.
Here from ICLW.
The whole pre-teen thing is tough. My 11 year old swears she is going to die from the embarassment of some of our chats - but hey, I want her to get it, get it right and get it from me, not some other 11 year old who thinks they know something.
I think the key isn't to scare them to death as much as it is to make sure the doors stay open.
Good luck!
ICLW
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