Monday, September 22, 2008

My Spam Filter

I have to admit that I am very curious how the spam filter actually works...or in my case doesn't work. What makes an email worthy of getting through to the inbox and what makes it seem suspicious? It's really one of the world's great mysteries. However, in the off chance that my spam filter reads my blog, I'd like to offer a few suggestions:

1. I do not have a penis. Therefore, I have no need to enlarge it. I have no idea who Ron Jeremy is, but I do not need to know on a daily basis how excited he is about his penis. Send those to spam.

2. It seems like this should be a no-brainer, but emails addresses to my colon can go in the spam box.

3. I know that I am fat. Thank you very much. Daily emails asking "Why are you still fat?" are really just cruel and unusual punishment. Those can go to spam.

4. I really appreiciate the recent friendship I have apparently struck up with a fine gal named Michelle Anthony. She's really trying to get me a job and has found one where I can make $97 per hour from home. That can go ahead and go to spam since being a phone sex operator is going to lose something with that baby crying in the background.

5. Emails I do like to read: ones from my boss, my mom, and my kids' teachers. You can go ahead and send those through spam filter. They're actually important.


I Believe in Miracles said...

Thanks for the well-wishes. Like your comment threat above on the leave a comment. I'll accept your dare.

Love this post on spam. I often wonder how things get into my mailbox.


Mrs Woggie said...

Spam filters are a mystery, I certainly agree with that. I want to know how I can get an email about Viagra come through into my inbox but an email from the government who I work for get's put into spam. Does not make sense to me at all.

Here from ICLW.

Mama Bear said...

yeah I have wondered the same thing!!!!

Silver said...

Don't ya just love spam! YUCK!

tripdad said...

Don't knock SPAM filters. In the past 3 months, I've:

* won £22,800,000 from various U.K. lotteries;
* learned my pet's biological age;
* been able to take advantage of unbelievable air, hotel, & rental car rates to/in New York, Orlando, Chicago, Parsippany, and Cheektowaga;
* enlarged my penis to 8 times its original size;
* had breast enhancement 5 times, and breast reduction once;
* met 14 lonely young ladies who were desperate for love;
* learned how to make a recession-proof income on eBay and Craigslist, and various other from-home enterprises;
* become a Professional Masseuse *AND* a Human Resources Professional.

Why would anyone bother with the overhead of SPAM filters? You're all on the wrong track.

Kristin said...

I don't understand the Spam filters either. Why oh why do emails from individuals I know and respond to suddenly end up in the Spam folder?


Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahahaha! I love it. Where DO these spam people come from? My favorite one said something to the effect of, "Becky is an idiot." My name is Becky, and while some might have been annoyed, I laughed for about an hour. Easily amused, I am.

Here from ICLW and I'll be back by. Thanks for the laughs.

Martha said...

Funny observations about Spam filters, thank you! Visiting from ILCW.

noblekleigh said...

How do you NOT know who Ron Jeremy is??? Just a few things that I know about him off the top of my head; he is famous for working in the porn industry and apparently has the largest penis ever, because of his career in porn he continued his success on a season of The Surreal Life on VH1, AND late at night he has an infomerical with a bunch of women talking about how unsatisfied they are with their husbands because they...GASP...have a small penis.