The following are actual conversations I had this week...or are they??? You decide.
Child of mine: "How come I always get in trouble. Ryan does the same things and he never gets in trouble."
Me: "Trust me Ryan gets in plenty of trouble."
COM: "Nuh-uh. I nvever see him get in trouble."
Me: "Well, he does, and besides what happens between me and Ryan is between me and Ryan and is really not your business."
COM: "I know. I don't even care if Ryan gets in trouble. Who ever said that I cared if Ryan gets in trouble."
Another Child of Mine: "I got in trouble at school today. I lost a ticket."
Me: "Again?!? Seriously?!?! That's not too good. How many tickets have you lost?"
ACOM: "Only 3"
Me: "You've only been in school 7 days!"
ACOM: "Yeah...that's less than half..."
Yet Another Child of Mine: "Mom, I really think that the next president should make it a law that people can't shoot other people unless they are breaking into their house."
Me: "Actually, that is already the law. Exactly. People who do it go to jail for the rest of their lives."
YACOM: "See. That's why I'm really thinking that when I grow up I won't shoot anyone."
One of the Aforementioned Children: "Today the teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up."
Me: "Oh yeah. What did you tell him?"
OOTAC: " I told him I just wanted to play video games all day."
Me: "Oh..like a video game creator or tester or something."
OOTAC: "No. I'll just marry a rich lady and then I can play video games all day."