Sunday, April 26, 2009


If you are on facebook and if you love flair, then I am sure you have seen the ones where someone messes something up and then written over the scene is the word "FAIL!". That's how yesterday was for me.

Saturdays are usually my long runs. I was slated to do 8 miles of walking/running. I went in the morning prior to eating anything since that is how it will be the morning of the race. It was the hottest day I have run in so far. I'm still trying to figure out the balance between hydrating properly and yet not being 4 miles out on the trail and having to pee. Somehow yesterday, I was both dehydrated AND had to pee. How is that even possible! The only good thing is that outside if I pee my pants a little, I can just walk n the grass and no one will know. Doesn't work so well on the treadmill. In the end, I did 6.2 miles in 86 minutes (again). I only ran 3 miles of it, and my longest run was only 1.5 miles. Not very good. Especially not when my race is 3 weeks away.

One of the hardest things for me since I started this little journey has been not getting upset when I hit a little roadbump. It's not easy. I always want to be making progress. Yesterday didn't feel like progress. It felt like failure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Trusting the Process

Do you want to know something I have recently discovered? As it turns out, I don't know everything about everything. Strange, huh?

Last week in my running was what they call in the biz, a recovery week. That basically meant that I was not to try to run farther or faster than I had previously and none of my walking/running was longer than 4 miles. I wasn't so sure I liked the idea of a recovery week. I mean I only have so many weeks left until the race, and I am only half-way there, and I still have like a ton of weight to lose, and, well, probably Runners World doesn't know that I can't afford to take a recovery week. I know that they are the experts, but I was pretty sure I knew better. I mean I could literally feel the fat cells attaching themselves to my thighs as I recovered.

From Day 1, though, I told myself I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to trust my mind or the scale. I was going to trust the experts. I was going to trust the process. So, after a little bit of a battle, I took the recovery week. I ran 3 miles one day, 2 another and 3 on the third. (Well, actually, I ran 3.14 since I like to run a Pi in honor of Jonathan who is so intrigued by a number that could go on forever).

Today was the first day back in non-recovery mode and well....I ran 4 miles...straight! Hooray! I am actually getting there. I can hardly believe it.

As it turns out, I guess the good folks at Runners actually do know more about running that I do. Weird.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Breaking the Addiction

I love running on a treadmill.

It sounds so funny coming from me. I mean really. I love my kids...absolutely! I love betcha! I love Ben and Jerry's Cookie DOugh Dynamo, especially when it is allowed to sit at room temperature for just a few minutes so it is extra soft and creamy...uh, yeah! I love using ellipses...obviously! But...I love running on the treadmill...who knew?!?!?

I think I enjoy the treadmill because it caters to my inner control freak. I know at every moment how fast I am going, how far I have gone, how much longer I have to run, how much farther I have to run, how many calories I have burned, and my current heartrate. If I don't like the numbers I see, I can go faster or slower and watch the results change in an instant. Ohhhhhh I love control! Add to that the little fan that blows in my face and my water bottle at arm's reach, and the fact that if I get my favorite treadmill, I can listen to music AND watch Fox news at the same time, and well, it's a little slice of heaven.

The bad thing is, I checked, and the 10K is NOT run on treadmills. It's run on a road. So, as much as I don't want to and as much as I miss my treadmill, I have to run outside. Running outside isn't really for control freaks. It's more for free spirits. I mean what if I get three miles out and I have to go to the bathroom? What if I get thirsty? What if some strange person tries to talk to me? What if I collapse and it takes hours for someone to find me but by then squirrels have started to nibble away at my hands? Do you see what I mean people?!?! Plus there are hills, and road bends, and curves to contend with. I have found out something interesting about myself...I really enjoy running downhill more than uphill. Prety strange, huh?

Saturday was my first swipe at 6.2 miles. I ran off and on for about 4.5 miles of it. I did it in 86 minutes. Not a bad start point and I have 5 weeks to improve on that. I am hoping by that time I'll stop jonseing for that treadmill.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

10K - Halfway there

So, according to the Cleveland Marathon website as of a few seconds ago, I have 37days 23hours 9minutes and 40seconds until my 10K.

Last time I wrote I was excited because I could run 5 minutes. I've made it a bit farther since then. On Tuesday, I was trying for 3 miles. Just like that 1 mile mark, 3 miles has been a bit elusive. I think with one mile there was such a mental block for me. I went to run like 6 times, each time thinking this is the day I will run 1 mile straight and each time failing. Finally, I made it. I punched right past 2 miles. But, 3 miles has been another challenge. Before Tuesday,I had tried three times to run 3 miles and fell short each time. Part of me still says "I am waaaayyyyyy too fat to be able to run this distance."

I woke up Tuesday feeling like it would be the day. But then everything went wrong. I couldn't find my favorite mositure-wicking socks. My only pair of running pants that keep chafing at bay were dirty. And, the biggest problem of music was in Rob's car. I toyed with the idea of not even running at all that day. But, that was the old me. THe old me used any excuse whatsoever NOT to exercise. This is the new me. I am a runner (or at least a very slow jogger). THis is the new me. I am in training for a race. So, I put on cotton socks and febreezed my dirty pants and decided to try it without music. It looked like it was going to be another day of not hitting my 3 mile target.

But, something amazing happened when I started running. Well, actually, something amazing happened when I got past the first half-mile. I hate the first half-mile. I got into a rhythm. My breathing was good. My muscles felt good. I was in the zone. I felt like I could run forever. 1 mile down....2 miles down...2.5 mles down all at the same pace. I had to slow down for the last 1/2 mile or so, but I did it...3 miles straight! Then I ran .1 mile for good measure and just to say I could run a 5K.

So, I am half-way there. Me. Fat, lazy me...ran 3.1 miles straight. I didn't stay home because I couldn't find my socks. Me. It's a miracle. If I can do this, truly, anyone can.

I am feeling like I won't be able to run the whole 10K. I am feeling like I am running out of time. I really, really want to run the whole thing. I may have to re-evaluate that. But, if I have learned anything, it's to trust the process and that I am capable of much more than I think I am.