Friday, July 06, 2007


NO, this is not the fear of never giving birth, although I think I am developing that as well. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. While my sister has a very long, documented case of such an issue, I first developed it just a few short days ago....

We were eating at a wonderful famiyl establishment where kids eat free on Tues. They also have a clown there for entertaining. For anonymity sake, we'll call her "Bubbles". "Bubbles" is known as the slowest clown known to humankind. YOu can wait in line for 20 minutes to get your face painted and a balloon animal, that is if only one person is ahead of you. So, Trisha gets in line and is finally ready to get her face painted. Here's the conversation that ensues:

Bubbles: Yup, there's lots of kids who have drove by here and left crying because they didn't see Bubbles van. You know why they don't see Bubbles van?
Trisha: Shrug
Bubbles: Because Bubbles was a bad, bad girl. Do you want to know why Bubbles was a bad, bad girl.
Trisha: looks at me for help
Bubbles: Because I brought my jeep. My van is in the shop. I took it in and the guy said it was my fuel pump. And I said what? And he said yeah. And I said what? And he said yeah. And I said I got my fuel pump fixed 2 years ago, and he said that'll be $500. And, that's why there are lots of kids crying tonight.
Trisha: looks at me for help

Now, if that weren't bad enough. 3 hours later after all of my kids had gotten their balloon animals and painted faces,we were ready to leave. TO leave, you have to pass Bubbles table. So, while Rob leaves the tip I am walking past with all of the kids. Bubbles has a line about 20 miles long. (Apparently, some parents had thought since they didn't see Bubbles van it was safe to go in.) As I am walking past, she yells out to me:

Bubbles: Hey lady! Whatcha got there? (Pointing at my belly)
Me: Yeah...I had a little too much to eat at the buffet tonight. (Keep walking)
Bubbles: No, really. Whatcha got there?
Me: Uh, it's a baby. (Somehow I thought that was a rheotrical question)
Bubbles: Haven't you learned what causes that yet? I could pull you aside and tell you?
Me: Ha. Ha. (Pulling out tazer gun.)
Bubbles: When are you due? Last week.

Unfortunately, Bubbles is no longer with us. But, I do wish her all of the best in eternity.


Drama Queen Of The Fitness World said...

So sorry to hear about your experience ... but I am glad to hear that we have one less clown. Praying for you daily.

Tracie Butka said...

I am so glad that you posted, now I don't have to call to ask the obvious question. We have been and will continue to pray for you.

AmyinMotown said...

"Don't you know what causes that yet?" HOOOO boy.

Had you Tasered her to death (or would you need a Woozy to do some serious damage?) no jury containing pregnant women would convict you. They'd probably canonize you.

Trina said...

Oh my goodness I have just lost my bladder! I just love reading your blogs. Maybe next time I read this, it will be about changing diapers and getting no sleep! Congrats!