Black Friday

I did a little shopping yesterday. Several stores in my area were opening at 4am. I had to laugh at the JCPenney ad which said it was opening at 4am, except where prohibited by law. Evidentally, getting up at 4 am to go shopping is so obscene some places have outlawed it. I did not get up that early, but I did go before it was light out and I noticed while waiting in line at Toys R Us that there are a few different types of shoppers out early in the morning on Black Friday.

First, there's Jolly Joe. Joe is just loud and happy and who really knows why. Joe is always cracking some sort of stupid joke about how cold it is outside or how early it is while jingling change in his pocket. Joe even started whistling a little Christmas Carol while he's at it. I just smile and nod at Jolly Joe.

Then, there's the cranky grandma. I always seem to fall in line behind cranky Grandma. She complains that the line is too slow or that they need more workers or how her daughter had to go and have five kids and now she has to shop for them! Her life just sucks so bad, because not only is it Christmas, she has three birthdays to buy for too.

There's also Pete the Pervert. I don't really think that Pete is a pervert, it's just that he's only buying one gift, and well, who gets up at ungoldy hours just to buy one gift? Just to make sure no one really thinks he's a pervert, he's telling everyone who makes eye contact that the toy he has if for his nephew.

Then there is Molly Mom. Molly Mom has a Starbucks half the size of her head and a list half as long as she is. She is dressed so nicely for such an hour and her hair looks as id she actually combed it before she left. She has a plan and she is sticking to it. I'm hating Molly Mom, but it's only because I'm sort of envious of her.

Finally, there's Hurry-Up Henry. Hurry-Up Henry is literally running through the store to get what he needs. He runs to line and then tells his wife to wait there and pay while he goes to get the car. There is no time to waste for Hurry-Up Henry. He has many more stops to make before the sun comes up.

There's also me. But, I'm totally normal!