Keeping Things Fair

WARNING: INCESSANT BRAGGING AHEAD! IF YOU DO NOT CARE TO HEAR ABOUT MY AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT CHILDREN, PLEASE READ NO FURTHER!

Ok, I got a call from Ryan's teacher yesterday. For a few short moments between her telling me who was on the phone and her telling me the reason for her call, I was thinking of all of the ways I was going to punish Ryan for whatever offense obviously precipitated this phone call. However, it was good news. Based on preliminary testing that was done on all 2nd and 4th graders, Ryan has qualified to be tested for the gifted program. This should make me happy, right? WRONG!

You see, Trisha and Jonathan are already in the gifted program (you were warned!) and if Ryan gets in, well that means that Jaden is the only one left out, and I feel badly about that. And, I don't know what to do about it. It certainly wouldn't be fair to Ryan to say that he can't have that chance because I'm afraid that it will hurt Jaden's feelings or make him feel bad about himself. I mean I could ask that Jaden be tested, he is on the borderline, but I doubt he'll get in. And, even if he did, he just doesn't have the organizational skills to handle the extra work.

We don't make a big deal about it. In fact, since Jaden is in a diffferent class from everyone else, it's not like it's regularly thrown in his face that the other kids are pulled out for special classes. When he has brought it up, we just bring up the fact that he has special skills that the other kids don't have, like being able to beat everyone in the family (besides Daddy) at arm wrestling.

I consider the fact that Jaden can even attend a regular school a true miracle. If the Spina Bifida weren't enough, he has had two near death experiences. Then, there's his shunt and the learning disabilities that are often associated with that, along with the motor planning and other issues that come with spina bifida. Add to that the fact that he has to work hard, I mean really hard, at things we take for granted, like walking or sharpening his pencil, or getting things out of his book bag. So, I think the level at which he learns is miraculous and I couldn't be prouder. I just know that he is going to be sad. I guess I need to remember that my job isn't to keep them from experiencing things that are sad, but to help them through the things that are sad, and to help them to see in them the things that I and God see in them.