Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Once Upon A Time In a Land Far, Far Away

there lived a mom. She was a good mom who only wanted to give her children the very best. She loved spending time with her children. After several days of non-stop togetherness to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, this mom decided that a field trip was in order. Her baby wasn't feeling well, so she thought that it should not be a long field trip, perhaps just a trip out for lunch.

So, the mom, deciding not to scare other children out in the community, hopped into the shower. The mom figures she could be quick about it and it would be fine. However, within just a few minutes of the shower's beginning, the mother's baby hopped into the shower also. With all of her freshly changed clothes on. And then proceeded to cry because she decided that all of the water getting into her eyes wasn't so fun afterall.

Cutting her shower short, the mom grabbed the baby, dried her off and got her fresh clothes all before getting her own clothes on. All 4 of the mom's other children decided to barge in on her at this time to see if the mom knew where various clothing items were for them and they all were kind enough to recoil back in horror when they spotted the mom's naked self.

After everyone was dressed and ready to go the family loaded into the car. They decided that they would go to CiCi's pizza because the mom recently purchased several coupon books for a school fundraiser that had coupons for CiCi's pizza. Before going there, however, the mom had to stop at Sprint. You see, the mom had to switch her cell phone service to yet another cell phone. Apparently, the mom's baby has been trying to see if water and cell phones mix. They do not. After two times of this, te mom hoped that the baby knew this.

The mom decided to leave her children in the car while she went into Sprint. Afterall, she thought, the children are old enough to stay at home alone for an hour. Certainly, there would be no problem with leaving them in the car for 5 mintues? 3 minutes into the phone switching, the mom looked out the window to see her 11-year-old son running towards her with what appeared to be a bloody nose. Apparently, this son had found tweezers and was tweezing out nose hair when the 8-year-old in his like-to-be squirmy way elbowed him and thus the blood. This mom made a note to herself to rethink the whole "leaving the kids alone" thing.

From Sprint to CiCi's the mom's male children delighted themselves with talk of intestinal worms and boogers and hey! did you know that you really can eat your own stomach? The mom's preteen girl had a look that seemed to be questioning why she had the rotten misfortune of living with so many boys.

Upon arriving to CiCi's the mom realized she left her wallet in the other purse at home. There is $1 in the car, which will not be enough to take 6 people to lunch. the mom turns her car around and heads home to the sounds of weeping and gnashing of teeth in the back of the car. The mom promises that next time she will make it up to them. And, she will...try to anyways. We'll see how it goes!


Mindy Richmond said...

I'm pretty sure if that had happened to me I would have been the one weeping and gnashing my teeth right along with the children. Good grief!

Anonymous said...

Could this the same Mom that let her baby carry Grandma's phone around for 3 days ?

Anonymous said...

Argh! Isn't there already a book named "The No-Good, Rotten, Awful, Horrible Day"? Is this a sequel? Hope it sells like hotcakes so you can build up your phone fund.
Bless you,

AmyinMotown said...

Oh MAN. What an awful day. I'm so sorry -- but somedays days like that are such total trainwrecks they start being funny. Like you're expecting the plague of locusts to arrve presently.

Hope things are looking up. Hey, do you plan to be in MI for the holidays? I'd love to see you and he crew if you are!